Role Model

Okay, I'm going to attempt to drown myself
You can try this at home
You can be just like me
Mic check one two, we recording?
I'm cancerous so when I diss you wouldn't want to answer this
If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus
I strangle you to death then I choke you again
And break your fucking legs till your bones poke through your skin
You beef with me, I'mma even the score equally
Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally
I get too blunted off of funny home grown, 'cause when I smoke out I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono
So if I said I never did drugs, that would mean I lie and get fucked more than the President does
Hilary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert
I ripped her fucking tonsils out and fed her sherbet
My nerves hurt, and lately I'm on edge
Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blond dreads
Every girl I ever went out with has gone les
Follow me and do exactly what the song says
Smoke weed, take pills, drop out of school, kill people and drink
Jump behind the wheel like it was still legal
I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal
So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill
Some people only see that I'm white, ignorin' skill
'Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill
But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist
How the fuck can I be white?
I don't even exist
I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave, die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave
My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?
And this is how I'm supposed to teach kids how to behave?
Now follow me and do exactly what you see
Don't you want to grow up to be just like me?
I slap women and eat 'shrooms then OD
Now don't you want to grow up to be just like me?
Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole
When we heard a knock at the door, must have been Ron Gold
Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold
Killed them both and smeared blood in a white Bronco
My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk
I slapped Garth Brooks out of his rhinestone shirt
I'm not a player, just a ill rhyme sayer that'll spray a aerosol can up at the ozone layer
My rap style's warped
I'm running out the morgue with your dead grandmother's corpse to throw it on your porch
Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon with a cape on
And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn
I'm about as normal as Norman Bates with deformative traits
A premature birth that was four minutes late
Mother, are you there?
I love you
I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel
Will someone please explain to my brain that I just severed a main vein with a chainsaw and I'm in pain?
I take a breather and sigh, either I'm high or I'm nuts
'Cause if you ain't tilting this room, neither am I
So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass, then it probably is obvious I got it on with her
'Cause when I drop this solo shit, it's over with
I bought Cage's tape, opened it and dubbed over it
I came to the club drunk with a fake ID
Don't you want to grow up to be just like me?
I've been with 10 women who got HIV
Now don't you want to grow up to be just like me?
I got genital warts and it burns when I pee
Don't you want to grow up to be just like me?
I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree
You probably want to grow up to be just like me